Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born and grew up in Toronto, Canada.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. I came out at the age of 23, just after finishing my undergraduate degree, but I had always known I was gay.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community prior to making Aliyah?

A. I was heavily involved in the LGBT community in Toronto. I served for a number of years on the executive committee of Kulanu Toronto – the Jewish LGBT community organization in Toronto. This involved planning events like Shabbat dinners, Chanukah parties and participation in the Toronto Pride Parade – North America’s largest Pride event.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. When I arrived, I got involved in LGBT Olim. In fact, the very first LGBT Olim event I went to was the first weekend after my arrival. At this event, I made some amazing new friends, and it really helped to make me feel comfortable in my new home.
I also play in the LGBT Football (Soccer) league, I go to regular tefilah services at Yahad (an LGBT+ friendly synagogue), I participate in various Havruta events (an LGBT+ organization for observant people) and I’m the LGBT+ champion in my office so it’s my role to regularly reach out to and liaise with LGBT+ organizations in Israel.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. I made Aliyah in January 2022, so it’s just been 18 months.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. I moved here on my own. I do have some family here in Israel, but I don’t know them all that well. Now that I’m living here, it’s been fun getting to know them.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. I made Aliyah for a number of reasons. The biggest reason was because my long-term relationship (15 years) had just ended. Since I figured we needed to move apart, I looked into the possibility of not just making a move out of our house, but making a move to Israel. Also, both of my parents are deceased. Not having my parents around freed me of any obligation to them and I thought about opportunities away from Canada. Finally, the biggest thing that pushed me into making Aliyah was that for the first time in my life I experienced anti-Semitism in the workplace from my direct supervisor. This really opened my eyes about what people think about Jews, and I quickly realized the only safe space for Jews to live in this world would be in Israel.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. So far my experience has been overwhelmingly positive. This is not to say that I don’t have those “what was I thinking?” moments. There are definitely days that are difficult, but I have to frame my life in terms of what I gain by living in Israel as opposed to what I have lost. I’ve made so many great friends, experienced so many wonderful opportunities, and I’m happy to live in a country where I can be myself.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I work in PR and Communications.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. My Ivrit has vastly improved. I was lucky enough to have a basic level of Hebrew prior to arriving in Israel, so I could read and write, but had limited vocabulary. My parents always wanted me to have a Jewish education so I was fortunate to attend Jewish day school. When I arrived in Israel, I immediately enrolled in Ulpan. Since then, I’ve progressed three levels, and plan to continue. Ivrit is really important for integration. While most people here do speak English, I try when I can to speak Hebrew, even though it is far from perfect. My biggest challenge I have with learning Hebrew is that I still can’t bring myself to watch Israeli television. My default is always English language TV.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. I think my biggest challenge so far has been dating here in Israel. While there is definitely no shortage of gay men in Tel Aviv, I find local Israeli men seem quite hesitant to want to date Olim. I’m not sure if it’s because there’s a language barrier or just a cultural difference, but it hasn’t been easy to meet people in that regard. I’m not into the dating apps and I don’t care for bars and clubs, so it’s definitely a challenge. I also find that working in an English-only work environment isn’t helping my Hebrew. I had originally thought prior to arriving here that I would find myself working in an Israeli high-tech company with other Israelis and talking Hebrew all day long. That didn’t happen so trying to improve my Hebrew has been an ongoing challenge. Finally, I can’t seem to resist Israeli bakeries, so I have a challenge of trying to not go into them when I pass them on the street. This is particularly difficult in a country where there appears to be a bakery on every corner!

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. I think the LGBT community in Israel is very strong, but I also see that it is complacent. There seems to me an unwillingness of many LGBT+ organizations to want to be more diverse and welcoming to Olim. I’ve noticed, for example, that many LGBT organizations want to attract more members and raise their visibility, but when they only communicate in Hebrew, they’re missing a sizeable chunk of the population. I don’t have an expectation that everything they do is communicated in languages other than Hebrew, however, for a group of people that is already a minority, I would hope they would try their best to be more inclusive rather than it being the exception.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to your country of origin?

A. Having grown up in Toronto, which has the third largest Jewish community in the world (after Israel and NYC), and a very large and visible LGBT community, it doesn’t really feel that different. Where I notice the differences has more to do with the segmentation of the LGBT+ community in Israel. Where back in Toronto there was just one LGBT Community group (Kulanu Toronto) that was a voice for all LGBT Jews, here in Israel you have so many different groups based on age, religious observance, municipality, political identity, etc. I find that this dilutes the strong voice the LGBT community could have if they were more united.  

Q. If you were making Aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. If I were to do anything different about my Aliyah, I absolutely would have chosen to make Aliyah earlier. Coming to Israel has been a life-changing experience, but also an overwhelmingly positive experience. The people I’ve met, the friends I’ve made and the experiences I’ve had have been very memorable. I love being here, I love my new life and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store.