Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born in New York in 1986. I moved with my parents and sister to Hong Kong when I was almost 4, when it was still a British colony, where my youngest sister was born, then to England when I was 7.5. I made Aliya when I was 11.5. so it’s hard to answer where I grew up. Sort of everywhere.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. I didn’t know that there was such a thing as bisexuality. I had a dream when I was 16 where a girl I didn’t know well was telling me what it meant to be a lesbian and I didn’t know what it meant. I went to my dad and stepmom and they explained what bisexuality was. I told them I guess I’m that. I didn’t know really what it meant then. I feel bad for having the most boring coming out story but there it is.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country?

A. No, I was too young and it took me forever to become involved with the community. I am sad that I missed so many years confused and isolated from the community.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. I accidentally stumbled onto Roy and Shani from the LGBT Olim table at a Haifa Pride Parade before COVID. I was still completely full of internalised biphobia. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’ve been to a few LGBT Olim events and I’ve been to the Haifa LGBT Communities House for Friday night dinner and made some friends. I didn’t realize I was erasing a part of myself until I started making friends within the community and slowly working on the healing process and feeling less alone.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A.I made Aliya with my family in 1997.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. I was 11 and made Aliyah with my mom, dad and two younger sisters.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. My parents were supposed to move back to NY with my dad’s work. My parents had always had Israel in the back of their minds and felt that it was a better place to raise kids.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. I’ve been here for 25 years. I feel somewhat American here but very Israeli when I go back to the US. 7th October was a shock for everyone and not great for my personal mental health. Now more than ever, I feel safer here than anywhere else.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I’m a gerontologist at a company that sends aide to the elderly via the national security.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. I speak Hebrew pretty well, but my Hebrew will never be as good as my sisters’ who immigrated younger.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. The first few years are always the hardest. I had the added issues that my mom was really sick with metastatic breast cancer. I was different and kids are cruel. I had kids in my class not talking to me twice which was not fun at all.

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. I love the LGBT Olim group. They’ve always accepted me and my queerness even when I didn’t accept myself. I’ve also had good experience in the Haifa LGBT Communities House. In the north, I’ve had rare moments of others displaying accidental biphobia when asking me what I’m doing eating dinner in the community center when I have a husband or asking me if I’m straight. That was incredibly hurtful, but pretty rare. Mostly I’ve had much acceptance and love and it’s been wonderful. It’s a shame it took me so long to connect. I didn’t even realize how invisible I felt. Sometimes still do.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to your where you lived previously?

A.I didn’t figure out my sexuality until a few years after I moved to Israel and have no other frame of reference.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. I don’t know. I think focusing on learning Hebrew, maybe not being so shy and connecting to others? My early teenage years here were really awful and bisexual confusion was really confusing. But going through it made me who I am today and I’m pretty happy with that. Maybe I’d tell myself what bisexuality was, that it’s ok that not everyone accepts it and that I don’t have to choose. Maybe I’d tell myself to connect to the community here way earlier. And that I’m not alone.