Interviews with Olim
Each month, we interview an oleh or olah for our newsletter.
We invite you to read the stories of LGBTQ+ people who have made Israel their home.
"I’m happy with where life has taken me."
Interview date: April 2019
Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?
A. I was born in the USA, and my British parents moved back to the UK shortly after I was born. US citizenship used to be ‘cool’ though now it’s a huge financial burden!
Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?
A. I came out at 14 in the shadow of Section 28 (a British law that forbade teachers from speaking about LGBT* people in anyway that could be viewed as positive). Whilst I was by no means the first person to come out at my secondary school (11-16 year olds), the school was vastly under-prepared and didn’t have the tools to support out, LGBT* students. My parents got on board very quickly, their deep love for their son was too strong to let the gayness bother them. I am very blessed to have wonderful parents
Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community back home?
A. A little. I was involved in an LGBT* Jewish Youth project for a short while, though it ceased to exist as by 2014 it wasn’t 100% needed.
Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?
A. None. About which I have very mixed feelings. I really think that LGBT* native Israelis are so entrenched in a political system that deeply oppresses us that there is so much in-fighting caused, it doesn’t feel like there is a community space that is free of the nit-picking and nastiness – I’m a little jaded if I’m perfectly honest. I live opposite the Haifa LGBT* community centre which seems to be doing an absolutely wonderful job of at least trying to combat this, but I work nights in preparation for a career that will take me away from home for long periods at a time (I’m a trainee Tour Guide) and so I don’t really have the time, though I would like to be more involved. Had I more time though, I think I’d rather be involved in the LGBT* factions of the political party that I support – because I don’t have the time for community stuff, I’d rather be involved in changing legislation.
Q. How long since you made Aliyah?
A. 4 years and 5 months exactly to the day of writing these answers!
Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?
A. I came on my own and met my amazing boyfriend 3 months after I arrived, on a dating app no less!
Q. Why did you make Aliyah?
A. Because I believe very strongly and deeply in the notion that the Jewish Peoplehood are a tribe scattered throughout the world with a single homeland and so I have to be here. Here, I hear the laughter, joy and pain of our people for thousands of years and my soul breathes. This land, for all of its problems, is the home of the Jewish peoplehood (which I proudly share with other nations) and there’s nowhere else for me.
Q. How has it gone so far?
A. I’m a financial mess, but other than that I’m happy here in Israel. I’m no longer just the naive ideologue that I was when I first arrived. My eyes are open more to the realities of Israeli society and living here than they were before, but nonetheless, I’m happy and positive.
Q. What do you do in terms of work?
A. I’ve bounced around from call centre work in the tourism industry, into tourism operations, managed a department at the agency I used to work at; peppered with some stints of English teaching too. Anything I’ve done, in the run up to now though, was to pay the bills. I knew I wanted to make Aliyah and become a Tour Guide, but I was waiting to draft and then finish my service before I could start. I’ve now completed the course and am working in a call centre whilst I take final internal exams and then the Ministry of Tourism licensing exams in June-July.
Q. How is your Ivrit?
A. I studied languages all the way through school and have a degree in foreign languages so I came to learning Hebrew with a very strong background in language learning. I started learning at 18 when I came to Israel on a gap year and then never stopped. I spoke Hebrew at every opportunity that I could, wherever I was – in the mall when an Israeli stopped me to try and sell me dead sea products, Israeli friends that I made whilst living abroad (during the language degree) etc. I took a night class in London in the run-up to making Aliyah in order to be in the highest possible class for my intensive Ulpan which I did when I arrived. My relationship is mostly in Hebrew (though he also speaks beautiful English which is a big help!). I served in the army, I studied the Tour Guiding program in Hebrew and have friends that I socialise with only in Hebrew. I’m pretty fluent and my accent is often passable as native – but I worked really, really hard to get to this level of language.
Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?
A. Finances, pure and simple. I didn’t come with a lot of money saved up – I didn’t come from a background that necessarily allowed that.
Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?
A. Largely monolithic: obsessed with youth, magazine standard body image, the intense and heady drug-fuelled night life in Tel Aviv. There are beautiful moments like the strike and protests last year after the government’s despicable handling of the surrogacy law; private initiatives like loans for couples who need to go abroad for surrogacy and a lot of really amazing grass roots stuff happening in IGY + Pitch (Peach?) the Youth Movements. I feel like the LGBT* community in Israel is not alien though to the ’stubbornness’ of the rest of the native Israeli world and the bizarre episode at the Gan Meir TLV LGBT* centre, regarding their insistence on playing music that degrades women is a great example of that. I really believe that much of this stems from the government’s ridiculous handling of LGBT* issues in order to capitulate to an extreme religious minority.
Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?
A. Everything and nothing. I’m happy with where life has taken me, though of course there are things that I can’t help but wonder about!
Adam
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Sign up if you would like to receive a monthly email listing events of interest to LGBT English-speakers in Israel, an interview with an oleh/olah and other useful information.
Want to be interviewed?
Complete the form below and we will get back to you.