Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born in Israel to American parents who had made Aliyah in the 1970’s. We moved to the US when I was seven, and I spent most of my childhood in North Carolina.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. When I was 14, I was in a secret relationship with my best friend, Julia. Her parents found a love letter I had written to her, and our parents broke us up, thinking this was “just a phase”. My heart was broken, and I lived in shame about being LGBTQ+ for more than six years.
Eventually, I came out on my own terms when I was 20. It has been a journey, but today I am so happy to say that I have full support of my parents – who really became advocates – as well as my brothers, grandma, family and friends.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community back home?

A. My wife and I belonged to an LGBTQ+ synagogue in Atlanta where we lived.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. We’re still getting to know the LGBT community in Israel and how to best plug in. The biggest way I have been involved is through work. We hosted an LGBTQ+ recruiting event in Tel Aviv last month, which is pretty typical in the US (and many other countries) but is such a new concept here in Israel that it made the news!

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. We made aliyah last July, so almost one year.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. My wife and I moved with our two young boys (aged 5 and almost 2). My parents also moved to Israel with us, which was always part of their retirement plans, where they spend half the year here and half the year in North Carolina.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. My wife is Israeli and we always spoke about coming back to Israel, at least for a few years. When a new role opened up on my team at work, it felt like re-locating with a job was the easiest way to move. I’d say that the main reasons we moved were to have our boys spend time with family here in Israel, learn Hebrew, and have a sense of adventure.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. So far, it has exceeded our expectations! We both have a lot of family here in Israel, and it has been so wonderful to see family and friends and for our boys to develop close relationships with them. The first four months were challenging – primarily dealing with any bureaucracy (it took us a while to be recognized as olim, to get health insurance, to get appointments, etc etc). But once we settled and found our routine, our life has felt quite full and rich with meaningful relationships. And, our eldest son is now fully fluent in Hebrew!

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I work at McKinsey & Company on the European Diversity and Inclusion team. I work with our offices across Europe to help them create more inclusive cultures and to attract, retain and develop diverse colleagues.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. My Ivrit is good, where I understand more than I speak. I’m surprised at how much English I speak – my work is all in English and my family speaks English. So, I can definitely get around socially in Hebrew, but hope to improve my speaking especially professionally.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. When my wife and I moved to Israel with our two boys, the government would not recognize both us of as their parents. This is despite both being on their birth certificates, which is all straight couples need to show to be recognized. We challenged the government in court and WON!!! We are the first LGBTQ family in Israel to be recognized using a birth certificate alone and future families who move will also only need to show a birth certificate, rather than needing to go through adoption or a court proceeding. We fought this discrimination against LGBTQ families for our family, our children and future LGBTQ families, and to create a more equal and welcoming society. It was a wonderful way to start Pride Month!
You can read the news story in English on Haaretz. (You’ll need to set up a free account to access it).

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. I’m still learning about it, but I think the community in Tel Aviv is strong and is one of the reasons Tel Aviv is such a fun and welcoming city.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to back home?

A. Generally the day-to-day is pretty similar, where we live openly with our family and feel welcomed and accepted. Tel Aviv (and Givatayim where we live) are very open socially, but I would still say that we experience more micro-aggressions here in Israel. And of course, there are legal issues here: there’s no same-sex marriage here, you can’t both be on a baby’s birth certificate, etc.
I think too often people say, “Oh, being LGBTQ here in Israel is not an issue,” and while I do agree that socially in Tel Aviv it’s generally open, that there is still more work to do as a society to move from “tolerance” to true inclusion.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. I can’t think of anything big. We had to leave our dog, Bamba, with my brother in NC so while I think it’s the best decision for everyone, I do miss my puppy!