Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. Ha! Not sure I ever did grow up! I was born on Long Island in New York in November of 1963. We moved to Israel for a couple of years when I was seven and then back to the US. I finished grammar and high school in Brookline (Boston), Massachusetts. I did most of my growing up when I moved to Northern California (in my late teens) where I first studied music at university.  California really was MY place. Lots of natural bodies of water and lots of mountains and trees. Lots of openness and diversity. A lot of explorations in diverse traditions and spirituality. Lots of hallucinogens (but I didn’t inhale)!

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. I identify as a lesbian and as queer (especially when, on rare occasions, I put on lipstick and my alter-ego drag queen self pops out). I messed around with my best girlfriend when I was a senior in high school and had my first serious boyfriend the summer before I started college. I didn’t have a real girlfriend until I turned 30. She was eight years younger than me. A few years earlier, I came out to my mom on the beach in Tel Aviv. I think I came out to her as ‘bi’ and she said that if she had been born in a different generation she might have identified similarly. My dad always makes good connections with my girlfriends. I think he admires self-made women – ones who live life on their own terms.

Coming out is not something you do once but all the time. I’ve been coming out my entire life and I still come out every day. I come out to myself and I look for occasions to come out to others everyday like weaving it into conversations when meeting people for the first time. It gets the issue front and center, from the get-go, so people know who I am and where I stand. Coming out is about self-acceptance, of claiming my right to be who I am and to exist in this world. It’s about owning my power and honoring all the colors I bring to the big rainbow of life.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community back home?

A. I was completely out, had lots and lots of LGBT friends and was somewhat involved in the Queer political community in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was very involved in the campaign for marriage equality and had lots of queer Israeli friends and associates who worked for the Israel Education Center and the greater Jewish community. I spoke on a panel at the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival when they premiered Nitzan Gilady’s Jerusalem is Proud to Present which is about the World Pride March in 2006 in Jerusalem (and the stabbing by the Haredi man). It’s much more normal to be queer in the SF-Bay than a lot of other places though it’s not necessarily universally accepted. Starting in the late 1980s I worked in a congregation that was very welcoming of LGBT members and had a large number of lesbian couples and families. I attended the first Dyke March in San Francisco in June of 1993 and most of the Gay Pride marches over the years. The last Pride March I attended in San Francisco was the day before I made Aliyah. I marched on the float of the Israeli consulate with Akiva Tor, our very straight married Orthodox Consul General who wore a lavender feather boa specially for occasion, and the shlicha who processed my Aliyah paperwork.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. I officially made Aliyah in June, 2012.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. Although I grew up as a Zionist, by the time I moved here my politics and relationship with Israel had changed many times. As a committed Jew and ordained rabbi, Israel and Judaism have always been a huge part of my life. Plus everyone in my immediately family has Israeli citizenship and I was the last to make Aliyah. I worked in the North American Jewish community for more than half my life and I was at a transition point in my life. It seemed like the most natural thing to do.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. I moved here on my own and my first home was with my younger sister and her family on Kibbutz Revadim. She made Aliyah more than 25 years ago and married a kibbutznik. My older sister made Aliyah more than 36 years ago and lives with her Sabra husband in Yavne. They are my only siblings and between the two of them I have five amazing nieces and nephews aged 16-26.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. It’s been crazy, amazing, difficult, wonderful, exciting and painful. I’ve made three major moves in less than three years and am now beginning to feel more settled. I’ve made some nice personal connections and I worked for a while at a job that wasn’t right. I do a lot of exciting things and am NEVER bored but I still haven’t quite figured out how to make a sustainable living here. Any ideas?

Q. What do you think about the Israeli LGBT community so far?

A. It’s very diverse! I really want to thank Roy for asking me to help him nudge the Jewish Agency into the realization that there are quite a few LGBT Olim who need and deserve their own unique welcome. I know LGBT folk in all walks of life here – from closeted religious folks to the most secular, including those who barely speak any English. I REALLY wanted to take the training for the Speakers Bureau at Hoshen (my favorite LGBT Israeli organization who educate for change in the government and private sectors) but I’ve found it totally impossible to break in. That’s been frustrating.

Q. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor?

A. I’ve had many mentors throughout my life who have helped me through various challenges and helped me reach my goals. But I also have peers and colleagues whom I admire because they are models of happiness and success. But I don’t have one desired mentor or rebbe.

Q. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

A. Some things I’d love to learn to do are: fixing bicycles, studio recording, studying Arabic and Japanese, whole foods cooking and fermenting, playing the double bass and tablas.

Q. If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?

A.I suppose it would be Xena the Princess Warrior because she is so hot but I can’t recall every sitting through an entire episode.

Q. Any plans or dreams for the future?

A. Whirled Peas, of course! And to continue to sing with lots of amazing accompanists and bands and always have gigs on my calendar; to grow an amazing organic garden; to travel to New Zealand and India and Japan and Iceland and Spain; to open a Pilates studio and work with people who want to get fit and happy. I am actually a Wingate Institute certified instructor and am starting a business in one-on-one fitness training for adults in mid-life. I am also about to launch a new website, Destination Celebrations, so I can more widely offer my rabbinic knowledge and cantorial talent to create the perfect and most inspiring life cycle events for individuals, couples and families here and abroad.