Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born in Brooklyn and grew up running from Staten Island to Far Rockaway, Brooklyn and the City.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. I came out when I was 40 something. My coming out coincided with divorce – so it went about as well as can be expected. The divorce was more traumatic than the coming out. Coming out as an adult is probably ‘easier’ in that I was already past the weird questions about family, etc. 

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country?

A. By the time I came out I’d been in Israel almost 20 years! AND NOBODY who knew me from anywhere was surprised.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. I was never very involved in the LGBT community – just parties and socializing – particularly with ‘Bashela’. We were a group of older lesbian women. We had parties a few times a year. It was a pretty small diverse group of Israeli women.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. Ahh – I made Aliyah in 1983!!! So – 41 years ago, when I was 20.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A.  I came to Israel with a Garin Olim (a group of olim). I finished university in June and made Aliyah in September. We were organized by a shaliach who was in the States at the time. We made Aliyah together to Kibbutz Ketura in the Arava (the Israel-Jordan border). We got to Ketura just as it was celebrating its 10th anniversary. We were called Kvutzat Maayan (Fountain or Spring). I met the guy who became my husband on kibbutz. In 1997, we moved with our 2 boys to Binyamina. Several years later, we divorced.
Later, I met Dawn, and after being together for several years, we decided to get married. The first time we got married was in our backyard in Zichron Yakov. Our Rabbi (conservative), Rabbi Elisha – and a good friend, Irving, both performed the ceremony. It was Rabbi Elisha’s first same-sex wedding. We invited about 60 people, and over 120 showed up. It was potluck. We sprung for the DJ, and it was a blast. The whole neighborhood showed up. Then, we got married a couple of years later in NYC. Even our teudat zehut (ID card) says that we are married.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah? 

A. I always felt like an outsider and just before my bat mitzvah I began to learn about Israel as our homeland. It rang true for me – I just new that I belonged elsewhere. I identified with my Judaism on a very deep and spiritual level. It was one of two things that always defined me – Judaism and the pull to write. 

Q. How is it going so far?

A. Well – it has been 41 years! I never looked back. I have always felt at home in Israel – safe, even now I do not doubt where I belong. My only ‘issue’ is that after the army – after fighting to defend our country – in Lebanon and Gaza and in the shtehim – my kids, who were born and raised in Israel – who understood that both of their parents had left the US to move to Israel, who knew their grandparents who were outspoken Holocaust survivors – moved one after the other to the States. And that is where they live now, both of my boys, my daughter in law and 2 bright and shiny grandchildren.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. Good question – Well, up until this war – my work was pretty steady. I lived on Kibbutz for the first 15 years, so worked there. I am a certified speech pathologist. On the kibbutz I worked everywhere – hatzar (plumbing and maintenance), the kitchen, the children’s house, gardening/beautifying and in the pomelo orchard. Most of this time I would also work part of the week as a speech pathologist, part of the week as a Shiatzu therapist (oh, yeah – I got a master of shiatzu at some point, as well). Once we left the kibbutz I tried working full time in speech and shiatzu. At some point we needed a car, so I got a job as a Pharma Rep. I did that for many years, and then worked for a company that made online lectures for biomed. I always wrote. 
For many years I had a popular blog called – LesbosOnTheCouch. I think that some of my blogs are still up, but on Blogspot. I also write every now and again for the Times of Israel – 
These past few years I began writing in earnest. I wrote a book, Her Destiny is Change – and I write for Medic-Write.com, the business I own with my partner Dawn. She does the research article editing and I do content (mostly marketing content/blogs etc). The war, however, has had a choking affect on my clients.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. I am fluent. It took three ulpans, the best was Mechina at Haifa U.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. Every day is a challenge. This is Israel. 

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. The LGBT community in Israel is probably less of a community now than it was when I first came out. Most of us are just part of the mainstream.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. It’s too far back for any relevance. My Aliyah was exactly as it was meant to be. What came after as well. I try not to do the ‘should’ve could’ve would’ve’s’. Don’t believe that it serves well.