Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. During my first 8 years as a child we lived in a mostly Haredi community in Monsey, New York. My parents were Orthodox-curious, but weren’t Haredi. My mother’s feminist orientation, that she got from her mother, meant that she wanted my sister and I to have more options in life. So we moved one town over to another insular Jewish community that was a Conservative/Reform mix, with many families of Holocaust survivors like ours. I was raised religious in a Conservative Shul and Hebrew school, but attended regular public schools.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. That’s really hard to say. The conservative Shul I attended as a child was an actively hostile place for LGBT people, but I was apparently out to a lot of people although I didn’t consciously come out to anyone – I was constantly harassed, bullied, and ostracized for being so obviously queer. My first fling with a girl was in a Jewish summer youth camp trip to a dude ranch when we were 14. There was something about riding horses all day, I guess 😉 We endured a lot of harassment after being caught together in her bunk, and that fling ended quickly. I mostly avoided relationships in high school, and at university I quickly connected with a lesbian cadre. I waited until I was 32 before directly telling my family, and many of them never spoke to me again, while a few eventually got closer.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country?

A. I lived in San Francisco for 17 years raising my son, and I was very involved in the LGBT community. Several friends and I created Center Women Present, a lesbian initiative of the San Francisco LGBT Center to produce women-oriented events at The Center and around San Francisco. We then expanded the organization to be more inclusive of all queer and self-identified women. I was a member of the organizing committee for The Dyke March of San Francisco, planning the Dolores Park event site, the speaker line-up, and the march route. I also gave planning support to the creation and organizing of the the San Francisco Trans March during its first few years, which uses the same space in Dolores Park as The Dyke March. I participated in the San Francisco Pride Parade, including riding in the Dykes on Bikes contingent that traditionally opens the parade. I was a member of Our Family Coalition and through it co-created the Mamas and Papas queer parenting support group. I volunteered at Lyon Martin Health Services, which is a community health clinic for queer women established by Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, creating breast health awareness campaigns for the lesbian/queer women community. I was a member of the Welcoming Schools task force (an initiative of the Human Rights Campaign) in the San Francisco Bay Area to create training materials and curricula for schools to become more positive environments for LGBTQ children and families, and gave talks with various educational institutions through a speakers bureau. And I was an LGBTQ liaison for the political campaigns of Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.
So, yeah, I was involved.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. Being a new Olah, I mostly participate in many of the organized activities that LGBT Olim creates and I love the friendships I have found through those events.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. I made Aliyah in April 2024, so I’m still a baby Olah.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. I came alone, but I have some family here and other family members may follow.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. I had a loose plan for 20+ years to do it, but many things intervened. I was doing unique design work with National Parks (including Zion National Park!) and world historical sites that meant I lived in 39 different places around the US and the world before making Aliyah. My mom joked that I was like the wandering Jew. I come from a family of Zionists, some of whom did extraordinary things to help establish modern Israel. I have Israeli uncles and cousins. My mom was a lifetime member of Hadassah, but so many of my family were killed in the Shoah and pogroms that she feared the further suffering of the family if Israel didn’t survive. So I waited until after she passed to start serious planning to make Aliyah. In this time of growing antisemitism disparaging Zionism, I proudly identify as a fierce Zionist.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. Although I planned my Aliyah for years, I arrived in the middle of the war. I have some projects I’ve been working on for a few years as part of making Aliyah but the war has postponed them. I’m struggling a bit to keep things moving forward, but they are moving slowly.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I am a professional Landscape Architect licensed in the United States, and a visiting university professor. For several years in San Francisco I worked in a very successful small design firm of about 10 people that I helped establish which was majority LGBTQ, and for many years at various National Parks in breath-taking scenic landscapes. My family lived in the Neckar Valley region of southwestern Germany for several generations before the Shoah, and I have been teaching in the Landscape Architecture department at a university there for the past few years before making Aliyah. Because of the historic connection of the Neckar Valley to the founding of Shavei Tzion next to Nahariya (which my family was a part of), I have been working to create a student exchange study program between the university in Germany and universities in Israel, centered on sustainable landscape and community design.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. It is very basic right now. I grew up learning Hebrew, but my negative experiences of being queer in Hebrew school led me to run far away from that as an adult for many years, and I forgot everything. I can read and write slowly, and do some basic communication. I will be starting Ulpan soon, so I hope to learn and remember quickly.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. I’ve had some frustrations getting bureaucratic things in order and signing-up for Ulpan. There are times when I’m feeling a bit lonely, but I haven’t been here that long and meeting like-minded people takes time. As far as my Jewishness, I don’t fit neatly into any particular box. I was raised religious Conservative with Orthodox influence, and then I lived a secular life for many years as an adult. I was a yoga teacher in San Francisco for years and had a strong meditation practice. I don’t consider myself secular, but I haven’t yet found a spiritual community that feels like home for me yet. Maybe I should start my own?

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. It feels very welcoming and downright ordinary – just a natural part of the mix of Israeli society. I think we’re a visible part in most of Israeli society and it doesn’t matter much to people. Yes, there are some sectors that are hostile to the LGBTQ+ community (I don’t have my head in the sand) and not everything is perfect, but overall it feels like a good place to be gay.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different from where you lived previously?

A. In San Francisco the Rainbow flag has a special status, and queerness is celebrated with unique pride. Here it feels like it’s just an ordinary part of the diversity of Israeli people.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. Since I just made Aliyah, it’s too early to tell. Ask me again in a few years. I hoped to study Ivrit more before Aliyah, but busy life had other plans.