Interviews with Olim

Each month, we interview an oleh or olah for our newsletter.
We invite you to read the stories of LGBTQ+ people who have made Israel their home.

"I see Israel as a very welcoming place for LGBT+ people"

Interview date: June 2024

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born and raised in Mexico City. Until now it has been the only place I have called home. It is a very beautiful, colorful, lively diverse country where one can feel safe and happy, despite its problems.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. This is a hard question since, after the first coming out, one needs to keep coming out again and again. Every time one meets somebody new, they tend to assume the predetermined identity, which is cis straight. 
I’d think everybody’s coming out experience starts by discovering one’s likes and eventually coming out to oneself. For me, it started in elementary school, where I had a distant fascination with a classmate. I never talked to him nor befriended him, I didn’t even understand the situation as “a crush”, since it was a more childish innocent feeling. In middle school, a new place with new classmates, my sexuality started to manifest without my understanding, I developed a deep crush on a boy from 7th grade (I was in 8th by then), started noticing my classmates’ pants and started watching porn and Googling pictures of shirtless or nude celebrities. At first, I thought I was just curious, but I was completely on denial of my own sexuality. 
Fast forward to high school, where I found new crushes and new clarity. It became hard at the beginning to come out to myself, but later I told one person, whom I felt support from. This led me to tell somebody else and slowly I told people one by one, having a clear precise list of who knows and how.
It was a source of anxiety at the beginning, but suddenly I stopped caring and one day, one of my friends said “I need to confess that everybody knows”, thinking that I’d get angry but to everybody’s surprise (including mine) I was relieved, laughed and said “thank god! Somebody did the hard work for me”.
Since then, I’ve never been secretive with my sexuality, although people who don’t know me tend to assume that I am straight and it feels like I have to do everything all over again.
With my parents, it is a completely different story. Although I was relieved that “everybody” knew, I was too scared to tell my family, so I kept it for as long as I could. One day, because of a media campaign, a conversation started flowing and I ended up telling my dad that I am gay. My mom was on a trip and he was pressuring me to tell her when she got back, but I wanted to do it in my own time. He couldn’t hold himself and told her. It was hard at the beginning, but it’s all right now.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country?

A. Yes! I was part of Guimel, the LGBT+ group of the Mexican Jewish community. They constantly try to bring information and education to community institutions and to bring LGBT+ Jews into a safe community. Also, I was part of the LGBT+ student group in my university, where we made activities for queer people.

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel? 

A. I am still relatively new here, but I’m trying to meet new LGBT+ people and find community, considering that my close circle here is still too small, so I want to get to know people who I can relate to. That is queer people, latinx people, or ideally the intersection of both.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. It has been already 13 months.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. I came on my own. All my family is still in México and I’ve been trying to find strong connections here.

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. I wanted to improve my Hebrew, learn about a different culture, to expand my horizons and get a Masters degree in Israel – the land of opportunities, science and high tech.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. It has been tough and hard, but overall a fulfilling and challenging experience.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I am doing a Masters degree at the Technion, so I could say I am a student or I could say I’m a researcher, both are true. I am doing research on an innovative cooling system that does not require electricity or moving parts. The theory is already set, but there are still some challenges in the implementation.

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. It is getting better. I try to speak exclusively in Hebrew with people whose mother tongue is Hebrew or Russian, but I still struggle in some conversations.

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. Finding strong connections and making new friends. As a kid, anybody can be your friend, but as an adult it is much harder to meet new people who you like and who like you and whom you can do activities together.

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community? 

A. I see Israel as a very welcoming place for LGBT+ people, where a queer person can live as a citizen like anybody else. However, I do not yet see an LGBT+ community in the full sense of the word “community”, just queer people living their own lives.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to your where you lived previously?

A. Mexico is a country where every aspect of life is impacted by social class. The challenges faced by queer people are very different depending on who your family is and where and how you grew up. Thus, every person faces different challenges, whether it is related to discrimination within the household, outside the household, by the authorities, bullying or any other. In this sense, I was very privileged, I do not believe that the way I can live my identity as a gay man is different in México than in Israel.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. At this point, I don’t think I would.

Moy

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