Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I was born in Haverford, Pennsylvania (USA) and grew up in Philadelphia. I spent my 20s and 30s in New York City which I consider my actual coming of age.

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go?

A. To myself and close friends, I came out my senior year of high school. To family, in my late 20s. My family is very progressive and it went great (my parents joined the board of their local PFLAG chapter) and was never an issue until… I moved to Israel where most people here do not readily pick up on cues, so I’m coming out on a weekly basis. Ulpan, work, Bet Knesset, Aliyah organizations, doctors, government organizations… you name it. Everyone defaults to the heteronormative. C’est la vie.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country?

A. My ex-husband and I had extensive social lives in gay communities when we lived in NYC, Chicago and LA. I was also involved in LGBT affinity groups at various jobs and synagogues. When I lived in NYC, I volunteered with GLAAD (a media monitoring group).

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel?

A. Not being fluent in Hebrew is a big limitation, no matter what people say about Israelis speaking English. My partner is Israeli born and Dati and through him (and through a gay hiking group), I’ve access to a beautiful community of sweet, thoughtful, smart and fun Jewish Israeli men.

Q. How long since you made Aliyah?

A. Just over four years now. I landed right before the chagim in 2020 and spent the next two weeks in a Covid bidud (isolation) hotel along the sea. It was actually sorta awesome.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other?

A. All by myself (yes, there’s a camp reference for ya!)

Q. Why did you make Aliyah?

A. I grew up in a fairly secular / not particularly Zionist Jewish home. Despite that, I was told that if there were any detrimental issues for Jews in America, Israel would welcome us with the Law of Return. At a certain point in my adult life, I realized I was living more as an American Jew than I was living as a Jewish American. By my mid-40s, I had achieved most of my personal and professional goals and I wanted to get outside of my comfort zone. I looked at the Law of Return, not as an option for survival, but as a welcoming invitation to live among a higher concentration of Jewish people than any US city could offer, and to really live in the annual cycle of Jewish chagim and culture. I was tired of using vacation time at work to observe Jewish holidays! And – this is a big and – I wanted to improve my dating pool and meet my Jewish bashert. Yes.. I wanted to help build a young nation, work in Israeli tech, have more sunshine, learn Hebrew, I love Israeli food and people… there are literally hundreds of additional reasons.

Q. How is it going so far?

A. I’m having the time of my life! It’s not always easy and that actually makes me grow so much more. My ex-husband refers to my new life as my own “Eat, Pray, Love” and he’s absolutely right. Sure, I have lots of complaints, but that’s because I have such high expectations and hopes for this beautiful land.

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I had a rewarding career in advertising and marketing prior to my Aliya, working with some of the world’s best consumer and B2B brands. I joined an amazing Israeli tech company for a year and a half as a marketing consultant before leaving to study Hebrew. In Israel I’ve had the opportunity to explore some very cool side jobs (paid and volunteer) such as working at a gorgeous winery in the hills outside of Bet Shemesh, innovative brand consulting work, cook for Israeli soldiers, been in a TV commercial, and working as a designer’s fit model for Israel’s largest apparel group at the age of 50. Only in Israel!

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. Getting better all the time. It’s hard to believe that as a child I could read and speak rudimentary Hebrew for a brief stint at Jewish day school. I am currently studying with Ulpan Gordon 4x a week at the gimmel level after taking Aleph+ four times at different Tel Aviv ulpanim ;).

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far?

A. The current war is horrific. I cannot imagine how life would feel outside of Israel, as the world seems to hate Israel, all Israelis and by extension, all world Jewry. It’s very isolating. So being here, living here, integrating here, being Israeli and trying to make a positive impact is extra meaningful to me. There is so much resiliency here that gives me inspiration. Another challenge: tachlis, I feel that pre-Aliya olim are not given the full truth about limited local employment opportunities. For instance when we are told how much English skills are needed by employers, we are not told we are competing with 500 other Olim for the same low paying, junior jobs. But compared to the war and hostage situation, really – who cares? Thank G-d for socialized Israeli healthcare.

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community?

A. The formal Israeli LGBT community strikes me as more than a bit hurt, highly politicized / used by politicians and usually looking for an anti-establishment fight. And unfortunately so many LGBT Jewish Israelis seem to feel they need to either leave (or to whatever extent, avoid) religious observance. I find Israeli society as a whole to be sexist and hyper-masculine; men still trying to live up to the whole tough “New Jew” persona, when Kibbutzim and Moshavim discriminated against gays and lesbians, and really only welcomed heterosexuals looking to have lots of children and build homes in the community. There is a lot of residual pain around this heritage and Israel is a little behind the times in healing from this.

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to your where you lived previously?

A. In the American cities where I used to live and in the professions of me and my friends, for almost all of us, being gay was a total and complete non-issue. Even in my synagogues in the USA, since around the year 2000 being gay was a non-issue. We were courted and welcomed! So there really is no comparison and I personally don’t look for American freedoms I once taken for granted, here in Israel. Besides, Tel Aviv is still the gayest place ever. It really isn’t nearly as bad as most would suggest.

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. I definitely would have sent that lift of books, art, furniture, dishes, clothes, linens, etc etc. I wish I had continued to study Hebrew when younger. And I would try to avoid Israeli bakeries from Aliya day one, because like all Israeli food, they are too deliciously fresh and tempting.