Interviews with Olim

Q. Where were you born and where did you grow up?

A. I have lived almost my entire life in Moscow, Russia and I was sure that I would never leave there. Maybe because I’ve seen the collapse of the Soviet Union and that huge changes in culture and traditions which came after that. And it gave me hope that good times were still ahead. Or maybe because I had strong ties with the local artistic community and heritage. 

Q. At what age did you come out? And how did it go? 

A. I truly came out only in Israel. Since the first days we came here with my daughter I was so excited to finally be here that I came out to every stranger which approached me and started talking. I was planning to make Aliyah for two years before we came so it felt like a miracle to me when I could speak Hebrew with live people standing in front of me and not via the internet. I answered to everyone who asked me anything on the streets and according to middle eastern tradition they wanted to know more about my life. Then I came out to my neighbors in the first apartment we used to live and in a second year here. The reaction of absolutely everyone was incredible and positive. Most of them were supportive from the first moment even though I saw that they were surprised and weren’t ready for this. The rest of people who were shocked and didn’t expect this were just open and curious without any judgment. I came out also to the future landlord when they asked me about my family and my plans for the future. When I came out to teachers and doctors of my daughter for the first time in my life, it was incredible. Finally there’s no need to make up any stories to explain why she doesn’t have a father. 

But it wasn’t so in my previous country. Every attempt to open myself there didn’t lead to understanding. Once in high school I told my friend that I had a crush on one lady. And my friend replied: “I don’t judge you, you are still my friend but I think it’s not normal”. Honestly, I didn’t expect more because I got used to being alone and misunderstood. Also in junior school once I tried to tell a girl about my romantic feelings. I hoped she would feel the same. I said: “I adore this song and every time I hear it I think about you because it played when I saw you recently”. And she said that she didn’t like this song at all and showed that she didn’t understand what I was talking about at all. Also when I was adult I once replied on the internet to a post when some girl wanted to find company for traveling. I offered myself as a travel companion and some random man wrote that, in fact, she wanted a male one (which was not obvious because it was neutral – male gender). And I made a joke that I can be as useful as a male. It was just a joke I didn’t really mean that it was my intention, but the man from the internet reacted very seriously and scared or shocked. Like I was telling something creepy. So I got used to the fact that if I don’t want problems I need to be careful and not tell much.

Q. Were you involved at all in the LGBT community in your previous country? 

A. Unfortunately I wasn’t so lucky to meet true friends from the LGBT community in my young years. If I met a real lesbian, usually we didn’t have anything in common. But those girls which I was close with didn’t identify themselves as a part of LGBT community and mostly were planning their future adult life in a heterosexual relationship. And even open activists and famous queer people didn’t seem trustworthy to me. I saw it as a play with trend and attention seeking and I believed that if you really feel and live like this you can’t scream about such a personal things so easily. But when I became older and already had a child I realized that i can’t just go with the flow and I have to do something with my life and confess that I need a community. And I’m grateful to that decision because I started consciously looking for friends and in the end I started meeting people who encouraged me to think seriously about emigration. 

Q. What is your involvement (if any) in the LGBT community in Israel? 

A. I’m not yet as much involved in the community as I would like. In Israel, I join Roy’s events when I’m free and it’s cool! But I’m grateful for the opportunity to feel like a part of the Middle Eastern LGBT community in a broadest sense which unfortunately doesn’t exist, but I hope for the best. I’ve met a few really close friends and true soulmates from the neighboring countries. Maybe we can understand each other because of our mutual background and live as oppressed individuals which is a tragedy and not fun absolutely but it can make us understand some things deeper. 

Q. How long since you made Aliyah? 

A. Two years ago.

Q. Did you move here on your own or with family/friends/significant other? 

A. I came here with my daughter, not being sure that we would get a citizenship and even without knowing if they will let us in at the airport. But thankfully it all went well and we could reunite with our cat, the third member of our family. When I settled down a little after two years I met kind people who helped us and brought us our cat which lived with my relatives in the apartment which we left. 

Q. Why did you make Aliyah? 

A. I took the decision in 2020 because of the political situation in my previous country but had warm memories about Israeli culture since my childhood. I liked Israeli singers and I even got the first album of Dana International as a gift from a friend who brought it from Tel Aviv. I was about 10 years old and used to listen in every day. It was a very touching moment when I found it on YouTube already in Israel and listened it once again after 30 years. In my adult years, I had other positive examples which inspired me to move to Israel. It was same-sex families with children or just bright and talented people who I would feel safe to share a country with, such as: Yuval Noah Harari, Harel Skaat and Idan Roll, Sarit Hadad, Rona Kenan… 

Q. How is it going so far? 

A. It was a surprise because here I could have more rights from the beginning than I had in my previous country even though I worked long and hard to build my life there. 

Q. What do you do in terms of work?

A. I work as a music teacher and pole dance instructor. I left my business and my students in Moscow which was a big loss for me. But I’m finally ready to create the same space in Israel. I’m working on building a home studio here. 

Q. How is your Ivrit?

A. I came to Israel with intermediate Hebrew, but I haven’t time to practice it here a lot and I hope to work in Hebrew more in the future. But at least I had an opportunity to graduate from the ulpan Gimel level. 

Q. What has been your biggest challenge so far? 

A. One of my challenges is to deal with wars. I escaped from one war of two close countries which have families and relatives in both sides to another conflict. And it was difficult to find any sense of living or hope that we still can have future. 

Q. How do you perceive the Israeli LGBT community? 

A. It’s my muse, they are amazing! 

Q. How is being LGBT in Israel different to your where you lived previously?

A. I feel safe and I can plan my future here. 

Q. If you were making aliyah now, would you do anything differently?

A. I would do the same but sometimes I regret that I was scared to do it earlier. I reality it wasn’t so difficult as I thought.